Soo I’m really rather behind on blogging this, as Matt showed it to me in the middle of last week.  But it made me lol, a lot.  Maybe you’ve all seen it and it’s not funny, but heh:

AK
xxx

As reminded on a train by somebody today, I neglect this here blog. (Not that she’s one to talk, as she won’t get one, but heh ) So here’s some lazy blogging of recent history.

Yesterday, these people:

got one of these things:

to go to this place:

We were going to see these boys:

(and yes, geeks, I know that picture has Colin and not Jez, but deal with it :p)

We were supposed to meet up with this person:

But sadly, she was ill, so we forged on alone. We travelled to the Southbank, and sat outside this place:

Sipping:

The show was

And I got introduced to some of the band. I felt cool.

This coming week, I will be mostly visiting this place:

And hoping he gets more of this:

Woop!

AK
xxx

In an email just:

Hi, Andy Kings.

Bournville College (BournvilleBrum) is now following your updates on Twitter.

Erm, ok! Thanks…

Thanks Lucy, for noticing my trendy new look!

Coming soon: Uni Year 1: The Review

AK

xxx

Thanks go to my Grandmother, and my Mother, both of whom pointed this out to me.

I expect you’ve all seen this article on the BBC News homepage today. I glanced at it, and carried on with my day. But as the wise old women in my family pointed out, who’s he married to?

So I read on. Turns out Jules and her husband have been scamming we the tax payer for quite some time. Turns out they had two houses between them, each calling a different one their second home, effectively not having a first home. This is Julie Kirkbride, who presented us our AS-level certificates, who stood on that stage and lectured us about being good kiddies. While all the time she was scamming our taxpayers.

Now, I think I’ve come across wrong here. I sound angry. I’m not, I think it’s bloody funny that she’s cocked up, again. Seems her hubby has taken the fall for her again, appearing on telly to say sorry and resigning as an aide et al. So it looks like she’ll get away with it, again. I was once accused of having a vendetta against her, for no reason. Untrue. She’s constantly rubbing me up the wrong way, with policies that just don’t make sense, such as her push to have single jabs replace MMR.

And yet, she’ll get into the next Government. Meh. At least I’ll get to vote against her, next time around. Something tells me it won’t make any difference, but heh, we can try!!

AK
xxx

I wanna be able to do this:

That is all.

AK
xx

I was listening today, and I heard this. Haven’t heard it for years, since I was learning to play the thing. Can sound beautiful on euph, but I never did it justice, so here’s someone playing it on cello, which it was originally written for:

AK
xxx

Edit: On Bill Bailey’s Remarkable Guide to the Orchestra, now on iPlayer, you can see the Swiss cowbell version. Brilliant!!

Sup, Gs!

So I 100% promise that this will be a proper blog, rather than just a quiz or random other tit bit of life. What’s been going down? Hmm.

Well, firstly, I’ve been proper bogged down with exams and revision and all of that rigmerole. I’ve done two, and they passed without too much incident, but I still have the two potentially problematic ones to come. Eek! Just hoping and preying that they’ll be as ok as this week’s were, and I can go home and enjoy my summer. But before I can do that, I have the visit of Lucy and Lou to look forward to. And I am, lots. Better get stocked up on wine for the 18 hour party that is Firday 21st May. W00t.

Other bad news is that my brand new phone was stolen, by some robbing arsehole, on Tuesday night. Bastards tried to run up a bill of £150 by calling Pakistan and looking at pr0n, but due to my mother’s resourcefulness we won’t have to pay a penny of it, so joke’s on you, whoever you are. I liked that phone, though I refused to admit it was stolen until, like, today, and think I need to have less faith in human nature.

But now, some good news! I went and had a long weekend break in LE11 last weekend, and it was pretty damn wicked. Personal highlights were the chick ‘ouse pizza, ultra funky sunglasses for £1, and Tessa and Josh, who were gorgeous and lovely and everything in between. Oh, and definitely NOT watching Twilight on DVD It was exactly what I needed to stop me crumbling into a tiny pile of dust.

My first year is nearlly over! w00t. But still, have the week of doom ahead. Looking forward to seeing people soooon!!

AK
xxx

I want one of these. Lol.

Self, you win a prize! Dunno what it is yet…x

I’m a little bit very intoxicated, but heh. Whateverrrr.

Be honest; first and last name of the last person to text you?
Your Mum. Tbh, I can’t remember, haven’t had a text for 2 days.

What time is it right now?
23.02

This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
The bra lady offof Apprentice: You’re Fired.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
Martha. Toni Iddles. The bra lady.

Do you have feelings for anyone?
Bra lady.

Who was the first person you talked to today?
Matt

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Lolz, nobody because I never cry and if I do I wear my invisibility cloak to hide the tears.

What are you listening to?
Annie Mac’s Mash Up.

Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
No.

When is your birthday?
The bitter chill of winter.

What are you supposed to be doing right now?
Revising hardcore for exam I don’t give a flying fart in space about.

Are you waiting for something?
Given up waiting!

When’s the last time you said you were fine, but really weren’t?
Lolz, about every hour of my life. On MSN to Lou probz.

Could you handle a long distance relationship?
OMGZ no, couldn’t think of anything worse.

Do you have a friend you can tell stuff to and you’re sure they won’t tell?
Yeh man.

What happened at 9:00 am today?
My alarm went off, so I switched it off and went back to my dream about playing for Wolves and Andrew Eden riding moterbikes.

What were you doing at 7:00 am?
Sleepy sleepy. Dreaming the above dream.

What was the last thing you bought?
A hefty amount of barley based beverage, and some Aunt Bessies Yorkshire Puddings. That’s a winning combo right there.

Do you laugh a lot?
Yes. Mostly at Loosey Mayson, Kaytey Gureeen and Louisio Brewkesio.

Where did you get the shirt you’re wearing?
The top is from Topman (sale ftw) and the hoodie is from Australia (also sale ftw)

Did anyone yell at you today?
I yelled at myself for not revising like 2 whole topics.

Hows your heart lately?
Full of fatt from all of the Bradvages tage away I eat but it tastes so gooooooooood yummy grease

Does the song you’re currently listening to remind you of anyone special?
Dizzee? No.

How tall are you?
5″9′ and a likke bit which is actually my Self like boof.

Look to your left, what do you see?
A lady with no top on But then I realise it’s just a poster and the exitement draaaaaains.

When is the next time you’ll be moving?
May 23rd ish man, bye bye Arkwright Detention Centre.

Do you have any piercings?
Nope, wouldn’ty suit me.

What are you most excited about this week?
Washing my hair with magic potion

Are you a mean person?
Lean mean grilling machine.

When was the last time you took a picture in a photobooth?
At merry hill before coming to uni and Lou paid for it because i’m shit and had no change haha

Can you make brownies without having to look at the directions?
Directions? Wtf?

Do you read the newspaper?
Yes yes. Guardian my bitch up.

Do you think age matters in relationships?
Not if it’s actual love

Have you ever been asked out?
Yep. But she denies it but it was the truth like the time she said she fancies D’Andrade lets relive it hahahahahaha

Where is your default picture taken?
Some freezing cold field in Loughborough

fav sport?
Every sport.

Your current relationship status?
Practically married

Does your crush like you back?
I don’t know, I’ll go to the bra factory and ask…

What is your current mood?
Vindictive

what color of underwear are you wearing?
Rainbow coloured baby. No no, only joking, it’s invisible underwear. And a thong, too.

What color shirt are you wearing?
Lellow.

If you could go back in time and change something, what would you change?
I would not leave my phone on the arm of a sofa for some robbing weelickers to steal.

If you must be an animal for one day, what?
Falcon. Bugger me, a serious answer. More beer…

Ever had a near death experience?
I nearlly got run over by Nicolas Sarkosy. No joke, ask mum, she was there.

Something you do a lot?
Show mild displeasure about the state of the world economy. NOT LOLZ ROFLBROFL.

The song stuck in your head?
Bonkers Bonkers Bonkers Bonkers Bonkers Bonkers Bonkers Bonkers Bonkers Bonkers

Name someone with the same birthday as YOU?
John Milton. And Kurt Angle.

When was the last time you cried?
Cry me a riiiiiiiverrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?
Yes.

If you could have one super power what would it be?
I’d be able to read your minds.

What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Wheter they’re very ugly. If not, epic win! I joke, obv. Eyes, and smile. And legs, nice legs is a winner.

What do you usually order from starbucks?
I order to know why they exploit my African brothers. And yes, mate, I am black.

Whats your biggest secret?
Omgz I know everything that goes on in the world because God is my bitch and we hang out in the pub and chew the fat innit.

Favorite color?
Blue. Bland.

Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
Disney movies were made for adults reeeally. So no.

Who are you?
Who is your mum?

Do you speak any other language?
French. Hardcore German, ask lucy. Noobish.

What’s your favorite smell?
Hahaaaaaaaaaaaa this made me think of a funny time. Really though? Erm, I dunno

Describe your life in one word what it be?
Chaingin?

Have you ever kissed in the rain?
Lolz, yeh.

What are you thinking about right now?
Did I really pay for these cans with the stupid bubble things in off the advert and if i did then i’ve been cleverly conned because it just tastes the same and that im a fool and i should have made some moonshine and sold it from my speakeasy haha.

What should you be doing?
Revishoooon.

Who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
Lol. Me.
How often do you talk to God?
I sit and talk to god, but he just laughs at my plans. Guess the song, the 1st person will get an actual prize sent to their house by me.

Do you like working in the yard?
Yeh man. Then I go put the trash can on the side walk, and go down to the liquer store for some chips and then ride the elevator in the mall. Tshhh.

Do you act differently around the person you like?
I dunno. I might talk about bras more…

What is your natural hair color?
Green. I just dye it this rad shade of brown.

Who was the last person to make you laugh?
My Mommy because she is comedy in a person.

Do you think life is fair?
No.

Do you believe someone can be faithful to you?
I wish they could be.

Are you upset/mad about anyone?
Yes.

Are you excited about anything?
Hooome and seeeing Tom and Matt. Legends.

Would you like to be friends with any of your exes?
Edit: Not the best idea. Yeh, probs.

And why?
Because they are cool.

Do you think all guys are players?
Yep. Especially me. Right hoe bag me.

Getting a haircut?
Sod off am I!

Know any true friends?
Yes

What grade are you in?
The best one.
Excited for next year?
Yeh baybee

Do you think your going to be asked out this year or next ?
This blates.

What do you hate in the opposite sex?
Being patronised and and too few clothees.

Do you think confidence and morals are sexy for the opposite sex?
Yes,

Describe your best friend.
Ledge.

Happy for your friends?
ye

Are you happy for yourself?
In the end

Who do you know, for sure, will always be there for you?
Family.

Do you believe everything happens for a reason and whats meant to be will find its way?
Dunno what I think at the best of times tbf

Before you leave, write down the lyrics of a song that will end this survey.
I will never give up on your, for all the times you sat and sang to me and tried to make me better <3

Glorious weather up here in Yorkshire! So much so that I’m off to buy sunglasses this afternoon!

Also, my craving for a tattoo has returned. I know I shouldn’t, but I reeeeeeeeally want this:

On my shoulder. But will I regret it? Probably!

Miss you all,

AK
xxx